Day #81 (I was MARRIED to that d-bag?!? Really? WHAT was I thinking?)

At the end of the day, all I can say is: I was MARRIED to that d-bag?!? Seriously? Really? No one forced me?

This morning started off totally crazy. Patrick needed to stay after church for a meeting, so we had to take 2 cars. No problem. I decide to take both the little girls with me, allowing Patrick some time to enjoy Sunday morning NPR without the kids talking over it. My ex-husband, His Royal Highness is supposed to be driving Julia & Frankie to church. Well, he decides they're too tired (he kept them out until after 11pm last night) and that they'll just have to miss regular Sunday school but he'll have them there in time for their extended class (which doesn't start until 11:45am.) Great.

I needed to be to church early, as it was my Sunday to deliver the pre-service morning announcements to the congregation. Keep in mind, I don't really like speaking in public. To me, I'd rather be getting a root canal without anesthetic. Uggh. So, we left 20 minutes earlier than usual and got to church just in time. *phew*

Patrick arrived about 10 minutes after we did but he didn't get to enjoy much of the sermon, as he had to run out and help set up for the "new member" class. Our church hosts these a couple of times a year. People who are thinking of joining our church (or already have, in some cases) get together with the minister and several members of our various committees (and Patrick is on the membership committee), and they discuss Unitarian Universalism, our particular church, their anticipated "gain" from joining us, etc. We supply lunch and snacks for this meeting, and Patrick was in charge of picking up the food and helping set up tables and chairs in one of our meeting rooms.

Around 11:30, His Royal Highness shows up with the girls and immediately has something to say about our church. Nevermind that everyone he met was nice to him, all he focused on was that he thought they were staring at him. Uhhh... maybe it's because we've been going there for 5 years and this is the FIRST TIME he's ever set foot in the place? Or because his parents join us for services approximately once a year and people wanted to see if the pompous jerk who walked in was really related to them? Anyway, he was obviously not going to try to get along with anyone. *sigh* I wish he would realize he isn't hurting me by not being nice, he's just hurting his kids.

Because Maura had to be to cheerleading at 1:30 and Julia & Frankie were in their meeting until almost 2pm, HRH decided to join me. Joy! He's normally a backseat driver and makes even the most patient driver want to leave him on the side of the road. This ought to be fun. NOT! So, off to my house so Maura could get in her uniform, then off to my sister's house (Amelia didn't want to go to today's game), to the high school football field (he had some obnoxious comments about how our high school's football stadium is nicer than some colleges he's seen and it must be nice to see our tax dollars at work - too bad he didn't listen to me say how the entire field was paid for by private donations) to take Maura to the game, speak with Coach about her watching Maura until I came back with Frankie (she was OK with it), then back to East Shore to pick up Frankie and Julia. During the trip back to East Shore, HRH discovered he lost his ATM card. This was after we stopped to pick up sodas for the trip back out to Kirtland. Great. Naturally he didn't have any cash on hand and wanted to know if I could loan him $60 or $70 to get back home. WTF?! I wanted to smack him and say, "Dude, you're seriously asking me to loan you money when you owe me over 10 years of child support?!? Seriously? Are you stupid or delusional?" (Of course, I'd probably have just given him the money if he'd just go home by this point.)

We made it back to the game right after the half-time show, which made me sad. I love watching the girls dancing on the field. They work so hard and it really shows. HRH spent the rest of the game just texting and reading email. Finally he looked up and saw how the girls respond to Frankie and not Coach and he said (loud enough for some other parents to hear), "Doesn't the coach ever get off her fat a$$ and do anything? Does Frankie have to do everything?" *facepalm* Nice. First, the coach isn't fat. Just because she isn't anorexic doesn't make her fat (he called Julia a fat a$$ earlier this weekend, as well.) Second, yes, the girls do respond better to Frankie but I really think it's because she's closer in age to them and they kind of look up to her. And, third, could he maybe not cause any more problems between Frankie and Coach? One of the parents who I'm sure must have heard him is awfully close with Coach and I can almost guarantee that parent would relay his comments along.

After the game, we all went back to my house and Patrick was home by then. He's been amazing about not losing his temper with HRH being around this weekend, as HRH knows how to push his buttons. That's when HRH decided to "visit" with my friends who live across the street. He saw the girls go across the street to play and decided he'd introduce himself. And hit on a couple of my girlfriends. Both of whom are married - happily, might I add. Real classy, huh? The general consensus after he left tonight was, "What the hell were you thinking back then, Mary? Holy crap, he's a d-bag!"

Luckily his father called to tell him that he wired enough money to get him back to Chicago, so I wouldn't have to loan him any, and that required him to leave for a while. After retrieving his money, he invited himself to stay for dinner. Yeah, that pretty much killed Patrick's appetite. I thought because I was cooking, HRH wouldn't want to stay. All I heard the entire time we were married was what a lousy cook I was and, quite frankly, I haven't learned to cook any different over the years. Plus, dinner was whole wheat pasta with homemade spaghetti sauce, garden salad with chickpeas and vinaigrette dressing, and garlic bread. Kind of healthy, right? HRH is the KING of junk food. Not only did he eat, he actually had the nerve to say that it's about time I learned to cook. (By this point, I actually lost time the number of times Patrick had rolled his eyes at the table. I was beginning to worry he might be having a seizure but, no, he was just trying to keep from saying something obnoxious right back to HRH.)

He finally left around 6:30pm. I spent the next hour hearing my friends and neighbors tell me what a class A jerk he was and how he shouldn't really trash Patrick and me around them because we're all friends.

Then it was time to do dishes, straighten up the house, get kids into showers and/or baths, get all kids into bed, and then to update my blog. Now I'm ready to collapse. Monday morning cannot come fast enough. Of course, it'll be crazy enough on it's own but at least HRH will be 2 states away.

Mary

PS: He's also planning on ruining Halloween for us. He thinks that Julia & Frankie are too young to go out with just their friends and no adult supervision. Uhhh... they're in 9th and 8th grades. Quite frankly, I think they're too OLD to go out. Oh, did I mention that Patrick's brother is planning on being here that weekend? He's purposely not coming the week before because my ex's parents will be in town to celebrate Frankie's 13th birthday (it's on the 27th) and he wanted to let them have her all to their selves. He figured coming the weekend after would have been good. Why can't HRH come out when his parents visit? Oh that's right... they'll expect him to actually ACT like an adult.