Days #75 - 77 (Monday - Wednesday)

Sorry I'm being remiss again in my postings; however, things have been crazy the last couple of days. For once, I'm glad that I'm home, so I can deal with all this and not have it affect my work.

Monday was a typical "Martha" day. Sweep & vacuum floors, wash dishes, do laundry, cook dinner. Regular day, nothing special.

Tuesday was a day that hopefully I will not see repeated. The day started off normal: I took Amelia to school, ran Frankie to school (she needed to work on a project at school and had to be there early), went for my annual "review" visit with my chiropractor. Then, when Julia was returning home from school, I noticed she was very pale and shaking. Julia's stalker ex-boyfriend (they dated in 7th grade, she ended things with him after about 3 months because he was controlling and it made her scared, then he started stalking and harassing her) is back. We hoped he learned after being suspended in 7th grade for harassing her and, because he left her alone all last year, it was easy to believe he was over her. Guess not. Earlier this week, Julia heard rumors around school that they were dating again. She made every effort to make it clear that they weren't and that she would not go back to him. As she was leaving school on Tuesday, he charged out the school building right after her, screaming that he was going to "get" her, and lunged at her. Because of his past behavior, she was terrified. Luckily for her, a good friend of hers was with her and she went after "Stalker Boy".

Now Julia is afraid to go to to the homecoming dance. Keep in mind, at the Valentines' Dance in 7th grade (about 2 months after they broke up), "Stalker Boy" cornered Julia between a water fountain and a wall and tried to force her to kiss him. God only knows what would have happened if one of the chaperones didn't see this and break it up. He's about 5 inches taller and outweighs Julia by at least a good 50 pounds. He was suspended because of this.

Julia and I spent yesterday morning in school, meeting with the 9th grade principal. The principal made it clear that they will not tolerate this, especially based on his past behavior. Julia is now to not make eye contact with him (much less speak with him), and he cannot ever approach my daughter. If he does, or if he shoots her menacing looks in the hallways (or does anything to creep her out), she is to find the nearest teacher or staff member, tell them (the principal was sending notices to all 200 teachers and staff members at the high school) what was going on, and they are to keep her in their classroom until after the bell and then walk her to class. After that, they are required to notify the office. If he were to actually approach her, touch her, or threaten her, he's expelled. Also, as he lives in our neighborhood (he's about 8 blocks from our home) and rides her bus, he is being forced to sit right behind the bus driver. They're trying to work out a way to kick him off the bus (how stupid is this - he harasses my daughter on school grounds but because it didn't happen on a bus, they can't throw him off right away?!?) but that might not happen. Lucky for Julia, his parents usually drive him to and from school, so he won't be there every day.

Thankfully the school is taking this very serious, except for the bus status.

We're upset because we hoped this was in the past. Apparently not. My niece and nephew (she's a junior, he's a senior) are taking turns walking with Julia to class and checking in on her during the day. Julia's friends are all rallying around her. She's still not feeling safe but she seems to feel a bit better, knowing he can't hurt her.

All this makes the whole Martha project seem silly. However, it does give me something to focus on and keep me from dwelling on all of the "could have", "would have", "might have" issues and questions.

Mary